Happy new year 2010! fuck, i guess, its been a month since my last entry huh ;(
didn't mean to abandon my blog, it's just i have so many stuffs going on at the moment. *sigh*

anyway, i'm having my period, so here i am, sitting in front of my laptop at 1.30am in the morning, and being an emo bitch right now. i don't usually have a PMS, but i have extreme mood swings during my period time. today is 3rd day, so pardon my emo-ness ;(

i'm in indo right now, currently enjoying the free moment i have to the max! haha. going out to meet friends almost everyday, makes mommy scolds me for the umpteenth time coz i don't pick up my phone all the time (my phone doesn't ring nor vibrating) xD it's great though. spent my new year's eve and the day after it together with my family, eventhough i felt bored at the moment coz i had no internet, and my blackberry was bloody retarded. but the more i think about it, the more i feel grateful actually. finally, i've spent new year with family after so many years i spent it alone/wif friends. so, sorry for being grumpy that moment! ;)

2009, such a great year, yet such a bad year all along. so many things happened, good and bad. so many things changed, good and bad. i guess i don't need to list out all the things or i'll bore you, trust me, you don't even wanna read that XD

and i'm not planning to talk about my boys though. you know what happened, you know what are going to happen next. you can predict it, it's just that being in denial is so much fun for u XD *sometimes i do too, but gotta be real. life sucks, it doesn't allow us to be in denial for some events* XDDD

so many shits happened on dec 2009. last month of 2009 which supposed to be my happy month turned out to be a total disaster, which lead me to the decision i've made. come to think about it, i used to be very proud of it, very much in love with that, and i always protect it with all my might, but i guess shits happened, and part of my world was crumbling down at once. it wasn't a big deal though. but whenever i think about it, i just feel a pang in my heart, call me drama queen, but i really do.
well, i may regret this in the future, or i may not :p all i know is, i just want to get out from this, and find some peace on my little world. but strange enough, it does gimme some comfort that i never felt before. odd huh?
i just never thought that, this will be the end of me. haha! XDDD

ohh i met with my exboyfriend though, the guy i USED TO treasure so much. i kept thinking to myself, that he's the one i love the most these past few years, and i DID. it's always been him. eventhough i got other guys on my side, it's always been him. we met last week, went out for lunch and catch up some things. he's still sweet as ever, yet so witty that makes me want to smack his head for his sarcastic remarks. he doesn't change, but i guess, i changed. oh he's getting better at kissing though. LOL! =/
i just realized, the sparks weren't there anymore. when he asked me to get back together with him yesterday night, i said no. isn't this the one i want for SO LONG? yet i said no to him. =/ he just gave me a dry laugh, then said byebye. he hasn't texted me until now. *and what do i expect?
to be honest, i feel quite happy, at least, i can have a fresh start though.
to tell u a secret, his soon to be girlfriend is one of TI's member! XD and look at the bright side, he can have a new girlfriend again! XD he really didn't have any since he broke up wif me, only flings, coz he dreads to experience the same thing when he broke up with me. *and why do i sound like the bad guy here? i'm the victim, hello!*

i guess, 2010 can be a new fresh start for everything though. ;D

finish ranting off my feelings. i feel lots better! ;)