*takes a deep breathe

okay, this post is going to an emotional one ;___; lately this blog is full of sadness *sigh* but i can't help it though, this life decided to be pain in the ass to me T_T what can i do? i only can squeal in sadness and wails like a lost dolphine huhuhuuh T____T

btw, i've decided that February is going to be my darkest month in 1st quarter of 2009. T__T

i have no idea where should i start x__x but its related to my cyber home ;D [i know some of you know what i mean here]
its dead! no, the forum is still going on, but the atmosphere, i've been trying hard to return its homey atmosphere but still, it's useless i may say, nothing changed so far ;___; i'm near to hopeless at this state.

i'm not going to reveal about the real problem and situation here, all of those problems need to stay safe behind the closed door =ppppp

but still, i know all of them have their own life, and i understand that, i have my own life too! just because i love my laptop more than i love shopping and spending time at starbucks, doesn't mean i have no life, I RESENT THAT! and all members in here aren't helping at all! in fact, they give me headache almost everyday T__T
now only me, manda, hika, and umma left.

no offense here, but i still can't trust the new family 100% T_T because they lack in sense of belonging. if you don't understand what did i mean with sense of belonging, its like homey feeling.
i've been staying there for 3,5years already, i've been watching how my home grow bigger every single day, i've been seeing how we overcome all the troubles. That doesn't mean the new family isnt capable of taking care of my home, our home. but i need prove that you guys love OUR HOME as much as we do.

why do i feel this way? simply because one of new family member said that she doesn't care about what happen in home, its not her business, there are others that will take care of the problem.
can you imagine how sad i am? you may say i'm exaggerating things, talk whatever you want, but this is what i truly feel, i love my home more than you can imagine.

i once said to one of the mothers of the house, i simply don't want to care about the members, but i still do care for our home, but i couldn't, i just couldn't. in the end, i still stuck with the headache they give me. but i'm happy. at least, i'm doing all these things because i want to, based on my own will.

and now, i don't want to stay still and do nothing. i promise to myself, no matter what happen, i'm going to protect it, and return its homey atmosphere, eventhough i know its going to be very hard, and require alot of hardwork, i don't mind. i have umma, and others to help me.
HWAITING MILKY!

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MANDA ARRIVED IN SG ALREADY. . i guess? haha!
awww, i'm so happy! *squeal*