i decided to remove all the "unimportant" things in this blog.
well, for me at least. hahaha.
i removed the tagboard part, the links part and wishlist, likesloves and whatsoever.
since i couldnt link u back anymore, so feel free to delete my blog's link from ur blog if u put one. hahahahah! XD

the reason why : coz i want to start a new blog which is the place for me to rant, to curse and to bash whatever and whoever i like. this is my life and yes u cannot order me to do what u want.
HAHAHAHAHA! xD
feel free to read it ;) but dun feel offended hahaha!
coz i just write what my hearts wants to say.

ok enuff with those random babbling. XDXD

today's rant :

one more bad news. fuck. please stoppp! man please stopp! T_T
my heart cannot take it anymore.
half year full of shocking news.
well, good and bad, mix actually. but still.
everytime u hear bad news after good news, i always feel like go to heaven end up in hell.
HAHAHHAHAAH XD
my heart bleeds for him. but i cannot do anything.
all i can do only say " whataver makes u happy, i'm happy"

Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

but still got one good news though.
HAHAHAHA!
but cannot share in here ;P too private LOL!

now onto my life's rant. hahahha!

i feel so fucked up lately. so balled up until i dunno what shud i do.

i always say to myself.
yesterday is memory, tomorrow is a mistery and today is a God;s present for me.
but i cannot live my single day without thinking about it.
how useless i am. how bad i am. how screwed up i am.
i never do any good things in life if trust me. hahahaha.
really, i am just that bad. ;)

i dunno what makes me like this.
when i take a look at my past, the 5years ago me.
i was different, i still can do some good things. but the recent me, only can do bad things.
i dunno whats gotten into me. maybe what my dad said its true.
i changed, too much. until he didnt recognize his daughter anymore.
my appearance remains the same, but inside changed too much.
i dunno what happened to me, im afraid if i change to that old me, i will get hurt again.
the feeling that i try to bury deep inside in my heart.
i dun want to lick on my old wound, i dun want.
i dun want to back to that situation again. i dun want to torture myself anymore.
once is enuff for me. please ;_____;

when i talked to darling, she said that i had one thing that i dun want to reveal that caused me to be like this.
she's right. that thing that i dun want to reveal.
i'm mentally ill. not that kind of crazy people or psycho. just mentally ill.
i cannot describe what it is. and i am a good pretender, too good, until i lost myself.
i even dunno which personality that really reflects the real me.
i have too many masks in this damned thing called life.
enuff about this, im afraid if i continue u will freak out and dun want me to be ur friend anymore.
hahahahahahah!

God, if I can’t have what I want, let me want what I have.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. In life we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable love. Pain is a good thing lets you know your still alive, and i'm alive until now. Indulge myself in this feeling so called pain. what a way to spoil myself ;)

Scars are like memories, and tattoos. When you fall, when your heart breaks, and when your best friend turns her back on you, it leaves a scar that can hurt every-time you think about it. It’s a memory that is stuck in your head. It’s in the past, but it comes back and bites. It’s a tattoo because it’s a memory that hurts, but doesn’t disappear. It never does. When you see it so vividly, you sometimes regret what led to the scar that is a memory that leaves an imprint in your life’s history.

but i cannot regret what i did, coz what i did in life was exactly what i wanted, atleast, i tried to make it. life is sweeter than sugar but at the same time it is as sour as a lemon. i wish this life could stay sweet, but sadly, it can;t. life goes one, world keep revolving, and time keep tickling like the bomb.

***********************

one wise man once said :

"I don’t know what the key to success is, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone."

this is why i fail in life. miserably.